You are brave.
I remember the day I began to know that I was courageous. At the time, I didn’t feel very courageous at all. I was preparing to move to France. I’d decided that I wanted to learn French and that the fastest way to do it was to move halfway across the world. I was 24 and full of ambition, but also full of fear.
My middle name is Tonea. It means stay here.
My parents gave me this name native to my birthplace, Liberia, because I was nearly miscarried early in my mother’s pregnancy. I guess they wanted to encourage me to stay here until the appropriate time of delivery. It is a lesson I am also learning now. Stay here. Stay still. It feels like Jesus has been instructing me by my middle name in this season, where we are in the throes of birth pangs.
On my last night in my condo, I got on the floor like I’ve done so many times before in this little “prayer cottage.”
My home – as normal as any other suburban condo – had become my prayer closet. Every inch of it. Over these past 11 years, I can honestly say there was barely a place on the floor where I had not knelt in prayer – crying out for breakthroughs, seeking direction, or just enjoying friendship with Jesus.
Read MoreI saw Him in the coffee shop this week.
It was a stunning sight.
I was working when all of a sudden I heard the young woman at the table next to me get up abruptly and say: "Here, this way, sir."
In many ways, I find myself in both a season of my greatest fulfillment and my greatest need.
In my conversations with the Lord, I am often rather “needy.” Today, as I talked with Him, I was deeply aware that I know so little of what I truly need.
I envisioned this scene.
Read MoreLast evening, as I talked with the Lord in prayer, the thought came to me: I can never go back. There is no turning back from here.
These are the defining moments. There are some moments, steps that the Lord asks us to take in faith, that when we say “yes” to him, there is no turning back. We are forever changed and can no longer go back to life as we knew it.
These are never easy yeses.
This week has been full of ups and downs.
I find myself pouring over the Scripture stories of the children of Israel in the wilderness. I am searching for his voice. I am looking for his instruction in what feels like a vast wilderness of unknowns.
And he has been faithful to come – just in the nick of time – with his voice.
Read MoreI had dinner with a friend last night and in the course of our conversation she simply said: “Isn’t it interesting that the sign of maturity in the Christian walk is becoming like a child?”
Read MoreIn this season it seems I’m continually asking the Lord for direction. Am I going the right way? Did I make a wrong turn? What should I do here?
There has been an enormous amount of change these last few months. And with it, there has also been great loss. The “good Christian” in me wants to follow that statement with “But God has been near. He has been faithful. He is trustworthy.” And wow – are all of those statements so incredibly true, especially right now. But in the midst of it all, there has also been suffering and loss that Jesus has invited me to sit with, linger there…and to walk with him.
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I was gripped by these words anew as I read them in my Bible. How is it that we were known first, before we were even formed? We were not just a thought in the heart of God, we were fully known by him long before he began his work of creating us. I think if I allowed that truth to sink in, I would live much more fearlessly.
Read MoreI recently had the joy of watching my brother teach his 18-month-old son how to kick his little feet in the water. He was singing this cute song he’d picked up at Julian’s baby swim lessons: “Kick, kick, kick like a little fish…” That evening, as I was getting ready for bed the image of Julian in the pool came to mind, and I began to hear my Father’s voice. “Connie, kick, kick, kick, like a little fish.”
Read MoreI remember saying one very feeble “yes” to Jesus when he called me to be a speaker. It was one seemingly insignificant, very small step. So small it was almost unnoticeable. An invisible “yes” in the spaces of my heart.
Read MoreJesus talked a lot about abiding. Being in the place of abiding with him. But what does it actually mean? How do we practically abide in Christ? What is he asking of us to do, or inviting us to experience, when he says abide in me and let my words abide in you?
Read MoreFear is a great indicator that you’re headed in the right direction. The place that you are the most afraid of going is often the place of your giftedness, the place that the Lord intends for you to shine.
Read MoreI love being hidden. I am an intercessor. My favorite place in the whole world is my prayer closet – hidden. Just me and Jesus.
Recently, the Lord began telling me – “the season of hiddenness is coming to an end.”
Read MoreI remember a most pivotal conversation in this journey. I was meeting with one of my mentors and sharing that I felt God nudging me to step out in this way but I couldn’t quite find the type of skills training I wanted.
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